SHAQ QUOTES
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Shaquille O’Neal
Quotes
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“I’ve won at every level, except college and pro.”
“I’ve succeeded at every level, except high school and college.”
After winning the state high school basketball championship:
REPORTER: Shaquille, what do you attribute your team’s success to?
SHAQ: I attribute it to me.
SHAQ: Everybody always talks about winning. Phil took us to the Finals four out of five years. We won three years out of five. To my math, that’s 60% of the time.
CEDRIC THE ENTERTAINER: You can count?
“Phil took us to the finals three out of the five years and
you want to fire him and want to bring in Mike Krzyzewski? Come on, man. That’s like being married to J-Lo, then dropping J-Lo for a girl that’s
5-10, 480 (pounds).”
(After Game 3 of the 2004 NBA Finals, when the Lakers lost to the Pistons 88-68)
REPORTER: There was a certain part of the game when you were getting the ball down low and you were scoring every time, and then it seemed like you guys went away from that.
SHAQ: Yeah. The
story of my life, buddy.
“Doesn’t matter. If I
would’ve had a beer before the game, I would’ve been drunk. So I don’t believe in ‘if.’” (Responding to a reporter asking whether the
Heat would still have beaten
“Remember this—I’m going to bring a championship to
“Stay out of the gentlemen’s clubs. Get a lot of rest. Just have fun and relax and stay focused.” (O’Neal’s secret to road wins.)
“It matters in a fatherly way.” (On legacy.)
“I’ll take 14 out of 15 any day of the week, any week of the month, any month of the year, any year of the century. I don’t know what comes after century.” (On having the Heat’s 14-game winning streak snapped.)
“I respect the older guys.”
“If I don’t get five [titles], I won’t be happy with myself as a basketball player. I don’t know how you guys will feel about me.”
“Our offense is like the Pythagorean Theorem. There is no answer.”
“We’re focusing on the whole pie, not a slice. A slice is good, but it’s not good enough to get you fat. We’re trying to get fat.” (Probably referring to winning the title.)
“It’s sort of like in the movie The Karate Kid when Daniel said he needed Mr. Miyagi. And Mr. Miyagi gave him that confidence to believe he really didn’t. These guys think they really need me right now, but they don’t. When I come back, we’ll all need each other to step up our games and do what needs to be done.” (When asked how his return from injury will boost the confidence of the Miami Heat team.)
“I’m very excited about my new agreement with the Heat….This contract allows me to address all of my family’s long-term financial goals while allowing the Heat the ability to acquire those players that we need to win a championship.”
“I told our guys they must not have cable because Antoine Walker knows how to play, Derek Anderson can play, Shandon Anderson knows how to play, and Gary Payton knows how play.” (Referring to the Raptors’ excessive defensive focus on Dwyane Wade throughout the game.)
“The day I stopped worrying about stats is the day I started winning.”
“Stats don’t matter. I care about winning, not stats. If I score 0 points and we win I’m happy. If I score 50, 60 points, break the records, and we lose, I’m pissed off. ‘Cause I knew I did something wrong. I’ll have a hell of a season if I win the championship and average 20 points a game.”
“The stats win nothing. I’m still sexy. I’m still great.”
“This really isn’t a game we really should be proud of. This game is liking taking your kids to the zoo. You’re supposed to take your kids to the zoo. You’re a father. So a team like that, we’re supposed to beat them like this.”
“I’m not a young jitterbug anymore. When I was a young jitterbug, I never won. I didn’t start winning until I got older. The older I get, the wiser I get. You just have to play it smart.”
On his first championship:
“Why did it happen? The big dog got
fed. And when the big dog was fed, the
little dog even got some meat in there, too.
Big dog owns the domain, but the little dog can go wherever he wants.”
“I’m not worried about facing the Sacramento Queens. Write it down. Take a picture. I’m not going to talk about this all year. When I get back, there’s going to be trouble.” (Before a game against the Sacramento Kings.)
REPORTER: Let’s just say that a snake bit your mom right here, right in the chest area. Would you be willing to suck the venom out to win the title?
SHAQ: No, but I would with your wife.
“We’re going to do it again next year. We’ll see you again next year. Yeah, I said it. Yeah, I said it. We will do it again next year.”
“The first three championships that I won, I won them. I had big numbers and I won them. And last year, the guys won it for me. They won it for the big guy. Numbers are overrated. There’s a lot of guys in this league who can say they’ve got great numbers. But they can’t say they’ve got four rings in the last six years.”
At Game 4 of the 2001 NBA Finals, with the Lakers closing in on consecutive championships, O’Neal is asked how much he had matured since his Orlando Magic got swept by Houston in the 1995 NBA Finals.
“I failed, I think, seven [or] eight times before I finally got my first [championship]. It was just, you know, just about me growing up. Now that I’m an old, old veteran—age 29—I do things a lot differently. I don’t go to the gentlemen’s clubs anymore. I had to slow that down.”
When asked about the one remaining victory needed in order
to clinch the 2001 NBA Championship against
“It’s just one more win. I don’t give a [bleep] how we do it, as long as we get it done. Did I say [bleep]? I’m sorry.”
“We would love to have
“I don’t see us having a problem. It’s going to be my job to manage the locker room, anyway, so it will work out.” (Referring to the Heat team at the beginning of the 2005-06 season.)
“If you go 72-11 and don’t win (the championship), it doesn’t mean anything. Actually it does. It means you’ve cheated and played an extra regular-season game.”
“Their unselfishness, the way they play and their poise factor. When you never panic, that’s a great sign.”
“Every time that I’ve won a championship I’ve looked at my guys around me and looked at their work ethic and said ‘You know what, I’m going to win it this year. I feel that way now.”
“Like my good friend Eminem the rapper says, you only get one shot.”
“The only person who can really motivate you is you.”
“In the seven or eight years we were together, we were never
together.” (On
“I’m not the one buying love. He’s the one buying love.” (On a ring – reportedly costing several million dollars – that Kobe Bryant bought for his wife, Vanessa, after he was charged with felony sexual assault.)
“If you’ve got a Corvette that runs into a brick wall, you
know what’s going to happen. He’s a
Corvette. I’m a brick wall.” (When asked how he might react if
“I don’t know their names.
Their names have been erased from my memory banks. If I tried to bring ‘em
back, I’d get shocked.” (Referring to
the two or three people in
“Let’s put it in old movie Mafia terms. There are guys that are in position to get by but they didn’t wait their turn. They back-doored the top guy to get the power. For example, Sonny Corleone (from ‘The Godfather’) went up there, and he wanted to be the top guy. And the Godfather said, ‘You know what dude, I’m a star.’ That’s what I’m doing now, and that’s what I was trying to do with what’s-his-name.” (Referring to Bryant.)
“There is nothing to say because I know everything about him. I raised him. I know what’s a charade, and I know what’s not a charade. I’ll leave it at that.”
“There is nothing for me to be sour about. What you got to understand is that I’m a military man. We usually do my shift for four or five years and then you got to move on.” (Referring to his former Lakers team.)
“I’m not going to try to go out there and outdo him. I don’t have to try to outdo him, I’m Shaq.” (Referring to Bryant in the Heat-Lakers game.)
“My personal opinion is, how, if you never hung out with
somebody, do you know them so well? I never hung out with that dude because the
dude is a weirdo.” (Referring to
“I’m a cop, and cops talk. They called me the day he did it, but did you ever hear me say anything about it? I played ball, because that’s how I am. I’m true.”
REPORTER: How about all your fans in
SHAQ: I miss all the police officers. I miss all the valet parkers at the mall. I miss all the little people. I miss everybody.
“If you don’t stick to simplicity, you’ll die a horrible death.” (Referring to the Shaq-Kobe dynasty losing for the first time in the Finals.)
“That’s sort of a trick question, and I don’t have a trick answer. Next question, please.” (When asked about Bryant’s aggressive style.)
Lakers owner Jerry Buss said Wednesday he didn’t regret trading O’Neal to the Heat despite the Lakers’ struggles this season without him.
O’Neal responded to Buss’ comments Thursday.
“I don’t regret him losing money and him not making the playoffs,” O’Neal said.
Buss also said that O’Neal lost weight last off-season
(approximately 30 pounds) only because the trade to
O’Neal refuted that claim while taking a shot at his former team’s owner.
“I didn’t need motivation,” O’Neal said. “I needed a real owner like Micky Arison, not a guy that parties with girls three times [younger than him] -- when you’re 60, hang out with 60-year-olds, not 20-year-olds. You can quote me on that. I’ve got nothing else to say about Jerry Buss.”
ESPN: People said that he is really motivated this
year because he really wants to stick it to the Lakers. How true is that?
SHAQ: I don’t let earthlings motivate me. I only let factors motivate
me. The only thing that motivates me is, when I’m done playing, I want people
to say, ‘He’s the Baddest Mother
(expletive) to ever play the game.’ Right now I am hearing that from
some of the people. When I am done playing I want to hear that from all of the
people. So right now I have three championships. That’s cool. I could probably
retire now and wait 10 years and most likely be named into the Hall of Fame. Whoopty do. Right now I am not satisfied with my career
just winning three championships, because I have been there five times, and I
should have five right now. Should have five. Should have six, including this
year, but it didn’t happen that way.
ESPN: Have you talked to Phil at all?
SHAQ: No. I’ll do it here on ESPN. ‘Congratulations Phil.’ There is no
need to talk, ‘cause he’s not in, he’s not in the
neutral waters any more. So I’ll just say congratulations and we’ll leave it at
that.
ESPN: Do you ever see the day where it would be possible for you to sit down, have a talk with Kobe Bryant?
SHAQ: Who?
ESPN:
SHAQ: You know what I am not familiar with that name, I know a lot of names and I have a lot of names in my head, but I am not familiar with that name. Especially if there is nothing to talk about, I’m sorry I can’t recall that name.
“I don’t know. I don’t have a fax machine, so I didn’t get
that message.” (When asked if he thought
“Merry Christmas.” (When asked about why he didn’t shake hands with Kobe Bryant right before the Lakers-Heat game.)
“We want [stuff] done right. As long as it’s my team, I’ll voice my opinion. Yep, it’s my team. You [media] guys might give it to him, like you’ve given him everything else his whole lifetime, but this is the Diesel’s ship. And if we’re not right, I’m going to go out there and try to get [it] right.... Just ask Karl [Malone] and Gary [Payton] why they wanted to come here. [It was because of] one person, not two. One.”
“He doesn’t need advice on how to play his position, but he
needs advice on how to play team ball….If it’s going to be my team, I’ll voice
my opinion. If he don’t like it, he can opt out.” (On
“This summer is going to be a different summer for a lot of people. Everyone is going to take care of their own business and everyone is going to do what’s best for them, including me.” (On June 15, 2004, after the Lakers were eliminated by the Pistons from the NBA Finals.)
“I don’t have to make a point. I’m George Bush. I’m the president. I built that arena, so I don’t have to make a point.”
On why he barely acknowledged Kobe Bryant before a Lakers-Heat game:
“I didn’t say anything. Got nothing to say. I’m a married man; I don’t need a relationship with another man.”
“He’s just intelligent—sort of a nerd, actually. He’s the only brother I know who made a 1420
on the SAT. I don’t think Chris Dudley
did that, and Mr. Smarty Pants went to Yale.
“
“I’m sorry, who?” (When asked about his relationship with Kobe Bryant.)
“Look up the word role in the dictionary and you’ll see it means playing a part. That’s why I call myself a real model. The best quality about Kobe Bryant? You want me to be honest? I don’t know. I’ll tell you why. I open my arms to everybody. But he never stepped forward for the embrace. So I never really got to know him. I don’t know anything about him, and it’s kinda sad.”
“Talk to the guys that ain’t doing nothing, don’t talk to me. I just want eight guys out there with me who want to play.” (Shaq’s response to the Lakers losing badly to the Warriors.)
Shaq was asked to evaluate rookie Luke Walton’s passing skills, who recorded 8 assists against the Pistons in Game 2 of the 2004 NBA Finals:
“It amazes me how [Walton] can give me the ball and guys that have been playing with me four, five, six years can’t give me the ball.”
During the 2000 NBA Finals against
“Yeah, I had some rice with my chicken last night. I wanted some gravy, but gravy was fattening and I’m trying to lose weight.”
After Shaq fouled out in Game 4 of the 2000 NBA Finals,
“The Big Little Brother.”
“I had orders from the great Bill Russell. Me and him were talking in
“Since I suffered the injury on company time, why shouldn’t I also be able to get surgery and do recovery on company time?”
“How can Benedict Arnold be reliable in what he says?” (Referring to Phil Jackson, who criticized his work ethic after the Heat won the 2006 NBA Championship.)
“He’s a jokester, and that’s funny, very funny. Ha-ha. Very funny.” (Shaq’s sarcastic retort to Phil Jackson’s claim that, in Shaq’s initial Suns game, he would be “taking the ball out of bounds and waiting for the other team to get back.”)
“We had more great times than bad times together, but they’ve moved on, I’ve moved on. I have a new team now and I have a new focus.”
“If I was able to have the game I have and shoot 80% from the line, I’d probably be an arrogant person rather than a humble one. Everything happens for a reason.”
“It don’t work.” (To Timberwolves coach Kevin McHale, who elected to pursue the Hack-a-Shaq strategy. Shaq made 5-of-6 free throws.)
“In this millennium that we live in, the ‘Hack-a-Shaq’has proven not to work. It might work a couple games every now and then, but when it comes to the playoffs or a championship series, it doesn’t work - not at all.”
“A lot of coaches play percentages when it comes to me, but that’s just a way of saying that you can’t stop me.”
REPORTER: If you could pick a song to sing on the free throw line to relax you, what would it be?
SHAQ: Guant a la mena.
REPORTER: Is there anything that would describe your free-throw shooting in German?
SHAQ: No.
“(The Hack-A-Shaq is) just a way of telling me that you can’t stop me. Thank you. I appreciate it.”
“Coach (Pat) Riley told us on June 8 we’d win the title on June 20.”
“Yeah, D-Wade called me up last night and said that he saw some film of me in high school and thinks that my form then was better and that I should shoot like that. I told him I’d think about it and then my pops called and said something like that so I decided to revert back and then...” (Rambling about making 4 out of 6 free throws in Game 3 of the NBA Finals.)
“When I concentrate and focus, they always go in, so I’m gonna continue to do that, and they will go in.” (Explaining the miracle he performed in hitting two consecutive free throws.)
“Me having a beautiful wife and great family and friends around me, all the money I’ve got, all the things that I’ve got, a Ferrari that I just ripped the top off of and turned into a convertible, the rings I got, the two mansions on the water, a master’s in criminal justice, I’m a cop, plus I look good. So me shooting 40 percent at the foul line is just God’s way of saying that nobody’s perfect. If I shot 90 percent from the line, it just wouldn’t be right.”
“I’d shoot zero percent before I’d shoot underhanded.”
“Probably a lack of concentration. I always hit them during practice. I just need to concentrate. Even though I should a lousy percentage, I beat a lot of teams from the line. You have to have mechanics. But see, what people don’t know about my wrists is my wrists don’t go all the way back. My wrists are crooked and don’t go all the way back. I’ve been practicing and working on them. You can’t do everything good.”
Shaq had just made 12 of 14 free throws in Game 2 of the 2002 NBA Finals, leading to a 23-point rout against the Nets. He then responds to previous complaints by Nets coach Rick Adelman about O’Neal stepping over the line while shooting free throws.
“That game was dedicated to Rick Adelman. I’m at home, in the bathroom, trying to take a dump, flipping through the channels and he’s complaining (on TV) about how I’m stepping over the line. I can’t even do a No. 2 in peace. I’m sitting there grunting at 12:30 at night. Can I go one day without somebody saying something negative about me?”
After missing 10 free throws in a 9-point loss to
“I think everything happens for a reason. With my game being the way it is, if I did shoot 80 percent, I’d be a harder person to deal with. It just keeps me humble. Just imagine me in my game shooting the same percentage that Reggie Miller shoots. I wouldn’t even talk to you guys because I wouldn’t have to.”
“I’ll hit them when it matters.”
“I knew I was going to make one. I wanted to make two, but the first one rattled in and rattled right out.”
What we can argue with is what Shaq told Stephen A. Smith about Rick Barry’s long-standing offer to teach him to shoot free throws underhand:
“Rick Barry’s resume is not good enough to even come into my office to be qualified for a job. I will shoot negative-30 percent before I shoot underhanded,” Shaq said.
Wow.
All we’re gonna say is that Rick is in the Hall of Fame, has a ring, averaged 23 points a game over his career, and shot 90 percent from the stripe.
“I’m going to be on a mission. I’ve handled my personal vendettas and handled them well. Every challenge you put in front of me, I’ve handled it, dismantled it – ate them, dropped them off in the bathroom and flushed them away.”
“I wouldn’t. I would just go home. I’d fake an injury or something.” (When asked how he would defend against himself.)
“But can’t nobody
(mess) with me. I’m like toilet paper, Pampers and toothpaste. I’m definitely
proven to be effective.”
“I weigh 330,000 pounds…I’m the NBA’s best NFL player, and I’ve always been the sexiest 7-footer in the NBA – for 12 years running.” (When asked what his weight is.)
“I’m always ready for a change. I’m Irish. I’m a leprechaun.” (When asked on his ability to handle the change in playing for the Miami Heat.)
“I’ll beat you up right now if you want me to.” (When asked to comment on his strength.)
“The East is going to be pretty easy for me. The Great Chest of the West becomes the Great Beast of the East.”
“I told my wife the other day, I’m the
“I’m George Bush. I’m the president.”
“I make the game easy. Double and triple me, I’ll kick it out to you for a wide-open shot. I’ll add years to your career.”
“I don’t have to shoot from more than two feet. I’m top 50. I’ve got 23,000 from where I shoot.” (Responding to Danny Fortson’s statement that Shaq is ineffective when he is more than two feet away from the hoop.)
“I’m getting older. I’m getting sexier. I’m getting meaner. I can still do what I do.”
“I don’t see anybody, in any conference, that can shut me down. Any conference, anywhere in the world.”
“No matter where they put people, no matter how they try to promote people, there aren’t too many people in the game today that are on my level on and off the court.”
“Being the best right now doesn’t do anything for my feathers.”
“I’m upset at myself. I should have had 50. I missed 13 free throws. That’s unacceptable. If I want to be accepted by Wilt and Kareem and Russell I’ve got to start playing better than that. Right now I’m still in the class of Hakeem and David Robinson and that’s not good enough for me. I want to be out there with the immortals.”
“As a general, and as a leader of this team, whatever I’ve got to do get my guys going I’ll do it every time. If I have to be the bad guy sometime, I’ll guess I’ll take that. That’s what a leader and a general and a chief of police does. Everybody is not going to like it, but I don’t care if they like or not. I’m Bush, so if they don’t like it resign.”
“I think I’m one of the patches of the quilt here, myself and Dwyane.”
“The biggest thing that will define my legacy is how I’ve done it, and what I’ve done, and who I am. I’m a weird big guy. Doing rapping, doing movies. Do a lot of stuff. But always do things the right way. Went to the police academy to become a police officer. Get his master’s in criminal justice, stayed out of trouble. Played for three different teams. Changed three different franchises around. This is a guy who they would have secret meetings about to change the rules. So, that’s going to be my legacy: the most dominant player ever.”
“I’ve read that same formula, but as an athlete I’m classified as phenomenal. You could look it up.” (Referring to the body-mass index, which would claim that Shaq is obese.)
“My game’s like the Pythagorean Theorem. It ain’t got no answer.”
“I don’t know how it is for you earthlings, but where I’m from, strength is mental.”
“I’d like to thank everyone who voted for me. And the one guy who didn’t vote (for me),
thank you, too.” (After receiving 120 of
121 first-place MVP votes from a panel of broadcasters and sports writers
throughout the
“I know how to turn the bad into good always.”
“I’m just getting better and better. It’s just like a bunch of worker bees protecting the king bee, because I’m not a queen bee. I’m a king bee.”
“I’m going back to the old Shaq. I was normal last year – I was an earthling last summer. I had to go back to my alien roots.”
“I knew I was dog meat. Luckily, I’m the high-priced dog meat that everybody wants. I’m the good-quality dog meat. I’m the Alpo of the NBA.”
“If you got the game, you got the game. That’s why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman.”
REPORTER: Give me the breakdown between the Orlando Shaq, the LA Shaq, and the Miami Shaq. Who’s the best in a pickup game?
SHAQ: I’d have to probably go with the Miami Shaq. He’s much smarter. Much older. A little bit slower. But much smarter. You know, the older you get, the wiser you get, and the wise man always wins.
REPORTER: There’s
a criticism out there of you, though, that physically, you’re not going to be
able to last over 82 games and the playoffs anymore. What do you think of that?
SHAQ: Uh, I take a beating, so, you
know, a guy that’s been taking a beating for 13 years probably will wear down
one day. But it still won’t help out the
opponent. It happens. It’s life. I’m
getting older. You’re getting older asking me these questions. It’s life. But
the older I get, the sexier I get.
[Licks finger, touches moustache twice, and points to camera.] That’s all that matters.
“I was like, ‘Huh? You want my jersey?’” (Referring to his thoughts after Micky Arison repeatedly flashed three and then two fingers at O’Neal. Shaq’s number is 32, but Arison was referring to Shaq’s second career triple-double in that game.)
“Somebody asked me about this the other day. A young Shaq and a young Penny, the young
Shaq’s going to take over. A medium Shaq and a young
“I just said to myself, ‘Damn, I’m a great player.’” (Referring to a ridiculous backhand flip that somehow banked in while turning to the basket from the middle of the lane.)
“Every team that plays us plays above their heads. That’s because of me.”
“They want to beat the Don Dadda. It means, ‘The Man.’”
“I’m the LCL -- the Last Center Left. I’ve been doing the same things for 13 years, but now they’re flopping and falling, and the refs are falling for it, too.”
“I’m the last in the line of Russells and Chamberlains.”
“I’m one year older, one year sexier -- one more, baby. For me, it’s all about the bigger picture. We want to win the whole thing. We’ve got to beat whoever is in our way.”
“When you feed the big dog, it does whatever you tell him to
do.” (Referring to himself.)
“When you flop, that’s just another message that you don’t know how to play me. Stand up and take your medicine like a man.”
“You have to foul me to stop me, period.”
“Win or lose, I am programmed to do more. That’s because I am the other son of Jorel - Superman.”
“I’m like the Pythagorean theorem. Not too many people know the answer to my game.”
“I’m dominant every night. I come in every night and get beat up. I never make a face when they try to flagrant or hack-a-Shaq me, because I’m not from this planet. Earthlings don’t faze me...”
“I painted my toenails before Dennis Rodman. One time at training camp, I stubbed my toe and the nail came loose. My mom gave me some toenail hardener, and I painted over it. I scored 40-something points that night, so it became a ritual. Paint my toenails, score 40 points.”
“Once the Hack-a-Shaq works once, you know I’m going to see it again. The only thing worse for basketball than that defense is the Lack-a-Shaq offense, where I have to go to the bench because of foul trouble. There is no fun in that.”
“Before I became the ‘Great Test of the West,” I was the ‘Beast of the East.’”
“Guys have made livings off me. Nick Anderson got a new
contract. Travis Knight got a new contract off me. As a matter of fact, Derek
Fisher called me yesterday to thank me [he had recently signed a deal with
“My secret? See it, and stay focused on it.”
“I never worry about the problem. I worry about the solution.”
“I take it personal when people don’t double me. It’s against my religion not to double me. It upsets me. It makes me think they’re saying to themselves I don’t have it anymore.”
“I want to be strong, dominant. Like Wilt Chamberlain.”
“There is no answer to the Pythagorean theorem. Well, there is an answer, but by the time you figure it out, I got 40 points, 10 rebounds, and then we’re planning for the parade.”
“Challenge me. Treat me like a game of checkers and play me.
That’s all I’m asking, just play me. Treat me like Sega and play me.” (Referring to his frustration with Dikembe Mutombo’s “flopping”
during the 2001 NBA Finals against
“I am Superman. And the only thing that can kill Superman is Kryptonite. And Kryptonite doesn’t exist.”
Rolling down the window of his SUV while driving through South Central and shouting at the top of his lungs:
“I…am…the son of Jor-El!”
REPORTER: Toughest opponent you’ve played against over the years?
SHAQ: Nobody.
REPORTER: With the Super Bowl in
SHAQ: It would have been tight end, and I would’ve the Super Bowl MVP like
Marvin Harrison’s gonna be.
“I really get motivated when I have doubters.”
“Word has it, they think I’m an old man, and they’re not gonna double me. My message is that I’m the baddest for my age bracketest. What I mean by age bracketest is that I came in at 20, I was the baddest 20, and I’m the baddest at 35.” (After scoring 31 points in a win over the Pistons.)
“I don’t listen to people who can’t do stuff that I do.”
REPORTER: Build the perfect basketball player using four traits from other players? Any four traits…someone’s quickness, someone’s jumping ability, smarts, whatever.
SHAQ: Me. And all of my traits.”
REPORTER: Guys are always talking about how hard it is to move you. Shane Battier says you have the kind of strength your Dad had when kids were little. Is there a difficult guy for you to uproot?
SHAQ: No. Actually,
“I’m on a mission. And I know the older I get, I may lose a step or two, but it’s all up in the medulla oblongata. I’ve got a lot up there. I’ve got a lot of knowledge...in this medulla oblongata.” (The medulla oblongata is a medical term for the base of one’s brain.)
REPORTER: Has there ever been a more physically gifted athlete in sports than you?
SHAQ: Never. Nobody.
REPORTER: I’ve always thought you could have been the NFL’s best tight end…
SHAQ: I would have to agree with you. I like physical contact, and I have great hands. If the Dolphins want to sign me, three years and $25 million. Throw it up like an alley-oop. I’ll go get it.
“I’m still the baddest [expletive] in the world. Yeah, I’m getting older, but Kareem got older. Hakeem got older. I don’t need Earthlings’ respect. When it’s all said and done, my name will be there and it will be mentioned ... unless you Earthlings try to erase it.”
“I’m more like a senior adviser so I don’t like to come in here and try to take over. Just like your basic karate movie where the young guys come to the old guys with beards who have them do weird stuff to get to the other side. That’s who I am, the old guy with a long beard.” (Referring to his new role with the Phoenix Suns.)
“You like that analogy? That was pretty good?” (Referring to the quote above.)
“Me.” (When asked to name the best-passing big man he has seen in 16 NBA seasons.)
“I'm not really worried about my numbers now as a 36-year-old. I'm not trying to be the first, experimental case of a 36-year-older trying to maintain his numbers, especially when I'm on a team like this. Can I do the same stuff I could do when I was Amare's age? Of course not. I'm not going to even try. However, I feel that I'm the baddest 36-year-old out there.”
“I’m tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money. I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.”
“As a basketball fan, I get sick and tired of people talking about numbers. To me, the world is getting too materialistic.” (After signing a seven-year $121 million contract with the Los Angeles Lakers.)
“I’m the master marketer.”
“I’m a clown.”
“If you don’t like me, there must be something wrong with you.”
“I said what I felt, and people try to control people. But you can never control me. I’m a 31-year-old juvenile delinquent. Nobody can control me.” (After being suspended in February by the NBA for uttering an obscenity during a live television interview.)
“They won’t talk to you because I’m undercover.” (Shaq’s explanation for the failure of
“As a military child I first learned how to deal with different types of people and how to deal with order.”
“Because I grew up with a drill sergeant in my life, I respect order and it really gave me the discipline to be a leader and not a follower. It also helped me stay out of trouble.”
“There was not too much to do as a kid when we arrived in
“I’m a lover, not a fighter.”
“I’ll just have to get it against my favorite team.” (Referring to falling 9 points shy of 20,000 career points. His next game was against the Sacramento Kings.)
“It’s hard being the NBA’s sex symbol, but somebody has to do it.”
“I’m a season kind of guy -- not the preseason but the regular season.”
“They’re going to come to me and they’re going to say numbers for three years and I’m going to use my division and if it sounds good when I hear it, then I’ll take it. But I’m not going to say I’ll take less (than the max) . . . Put it this way. I won’t take a BMW from somebody when I know I can get a Maybach from somewhere else.” (Referring to his potential salary from the Lakers.)
“I’m like tax. You’re going to pay one way or the other.” (Referring to his salary.)
“This is my disguise, but it doesn’t work.” (Referring to a wig with dreadlocks.)
“My first movie. I think I won an Oscar for this.” (Referring to Blue Chips.)
“I’m a very quotatious person.”
“That has nothing to do with basketball. That’s just because I’m sexy.” (Referring to the way that Miami Heat fans have enthusiastically embraced him.)
“Shaquille O’Neal has always been one to speak the truth.”
When asked about the Florida Marlins signing slugger Carlos Delgado, Shaq said, “Who’s that?” Informed that Delgado is a baseball player who signed with the Marlins, O’Neal responded:
“Oh, I welcome him. He can come by my house, you know, where
I live, eat some dinner. I don’t have to share the spotlight. I don’t have any
spotlight. Nobody knows who I am down there. I’m just another pretty Latin face
in
“When I was young I was on punishment a lot and I used to watch a lot of TV, and I asked myself a question: ‘How come people like Mike? How come they like Magic? How come they like Bird? How come they don’t like the big guys?’ So I just throw a little bit of what they were doing. You smile, you act crazy and silly. And I think people like me because I’m different. I’ve always been a class clown type of guy. It comes natural.”
“Being that I’m a tropical black man I don’t get to see much
snow. When I see snow I go crazy. That’s
why they call me Sasquatch. There’s no Sasquatch found in the snow so I had to go back to my Sasquatchian roots.”
(Referring to starting a snowball fight with teammates at
“I don’t believe that I personally have been changed by the money. The bad thing is people assume you’ve changed because now you have money.”
“You know, I’m very photogenic.”
“Everybody talks about being a role model. But if you look up the word ‘role’ in a dictionary, it describes playing a part. Everything I’m into, it’s real to me. There’s nothing fake about it.”
REPORTER: Why do you think there’s such a mystery about how big you are?
SHAQ: Because I’m a freak of nature. You’ve never seen anyone this big, this sexy, move this way.
After referring to all other humans as earthlings:
REPORTER: What planet are you originally from?
SHAQ: I don’t know the name of the planet. The files were destroyed. Actually, my mother recently told me that I
wasn’t born. I was found on a
train. I have a lot of heritage in
“I’ve been 11, 12 percent body fat my whole career. But when you’ve got a big, sexy, beautiful man that’s up in the 340s, 350s, the way you guys were taught on this planet, you’re going to automatically think it’s fat.”
“I want to go to police academy, I want to actually go out and make a couple of arrests. I want to go undercover.”
“A writer from ESPN magazine once described me as the
world’s largest eleven-year-old. That’s
true. I ride my Sea-Doo
jet ski, play putt-putt golf, go to water parks, and act silly. On the bottom floor of my house in
“Sometimes I feel like the Tom Hanks character in Big.
But my life is not a movie. I
never have to go back to
“I am aware that most people only see me as Shaq…the guy on the court. But there is another side to who I am, Shaquille O’Neal. And Shaquille O’Neal wants to explore every part of life. He wants the opportunity to pursue all of his desires. That includes being a part of the music industry as an MC. Music is and will always be a part of who I am.”
“It’s t’ai chi every time. I’m using your positive energy, and I’m blowing off it. See, most guys can’t push, they got to lean. When they lean, I spin.”
“I don’t get tired. I get beat up. You keep chopping on a tree, you need to give the tree some rest so the chlorophyll will fill back up and the tree gets its energy back.”
“From two to four, I was an angel. I skipped first grade because I was intelligent. Around fourth grade, I started to become the class clown. Fourth grade to age thirteen, I was terrible. Worst child ever. I was bigger than everybody, and kids used to make fun of me, call me names like Shaquilla the Gorilla or Shaqueer. So I hit them because I didn’t like it. I went from being a bully to a medium-level juvenile delinquent. I used to carry a knife. My dad and my uncle Mike would be telling me, “You’re going to get in trouble and go to jail.” The moment that changed my life came when I was about thirteen and this guy ratted me out for throwing something in class. I caught up with him after school and beat him up. When the kid went down, I kicked him. Then he started having an epileptic seizure. A man ran out of a car and put something in the kid’s mouth and got him to stop. If that guy hadn’t come, the kid might have died, and I’d have been done, done, done. I was a different person from that day on.”
“Going from Army base to base as a kid taught me to be a man
of all nations. I’d go to the Jewish people and say, ‘Shalom, brother.’ I go to
the Muslim people and say, ‘Salaam aleikum.’I go to
the Chinese people and say, ‘Nee hao mah,’ which means, ‘How you doin’?’
I go to the Japanese people and say, ‘Konnichiwa.’ I go to
“When I first came in, I partied and had a good time. I used to spend $500,000 on chains that don’t make no sense. Then I started having babies. I don’t do the bull**** no more.”
“I’m a mama’s boy above all.”
“My father made me who I am. He gave me a basketball and told me to play with the ball, sleep with the ball, dream with the ball. Just don’t take it to school. I used it as a pillow, and it never gave me a stiff neck.”
“I put a lot into it, and when I am done playing, I plan on
going undercover and then being the sheriff or chief of police somewhere,
either
REPORTER: Name 3 words that best describe you.
SHAQ: Enigmatic, funny, and silly.
“I’m like President Bush. You may not like me, you may not respect me, but you voted me in.” (Referring to his selection into the 2007 All-Star Game despite missing most of the season due to injury.)
“If you feed the big dog, he will guard the yard. If you don’t feed him, he’s just going to walk around and get bored, and he ain’t going to do shit. So if I’m getting the ball, I’m going to work. Every time.”
“Once you learn how to do something, you don’t lose it. Unless you die.”
REPORTER: Worth of your wardrobe?
SHAQ: About $2 million. I don’t wear combinations twice. I may wear a jacket more than once.
REPORTER: You are one of the world’s most recognizable people. How do you go shopping?
SHAQ: I’m an outgoing guy. I go to the mall. I go to the movies. I’m a lucky guy happy to have made it. But I’m not like a woman who likes to shop. When I’m in my car, I know I need to go to Sharper Image and get the damn seat massage thing. I wiggle my way there and get the damn seat massage thing. I don’t walk around JC Penney or Macy’s.
“I don’t take anything personal. I just have a certain file in my head, so Earthlings must be careful with what they say.”
“When you’ve got a guy that’s going to look for you, you run. A lot of people think I can’t run, but my thing was I wasn’t going to be running if you’re not going to throw it. I know Nash will throw it.”
“Pluto is not a planet, but I am.”
“I'm sort of like a specialist. I go in, do what I do and every four years, they get tired of me and I have to relocate myself.”
Referring to finally graduating from
“It took eight years; it should have taken six or seven. I had some other engagements.”
“I’m the first graduate of LSU to graduate in crayon biology.”
“I thought (finishing school) would be easy, but it was kind of hard. Thank God for the Internet.”
“I feel very secure now. I can get a real job now.”
“From now on, this is ‘
“Yes, I am the valedictorian. They didn’t mention it to you yet, but I did get a 4.0.”
“I had to re-teach myself how to study, re-teach myself how to read.”
“I could be anything I want. I could take your job, I could be a lawyer. There’s real life and there’s fairy tale life. This is real life.”
Referring to his MBA from the
“Sports for me has always been, you know, fairy tale life. And this right here is real life. This right here means more.”
“And I want to do it the right way, like everybody else, not just a famous figurehead that gets a job because he is a famous basketball player. I want to really learn the business.”
“Solidifies that I’m a businessman….I could always go and have a conversation with Mr. Gates or Mr. Trump. But now that I have this, I can really have a conversation with them on the same level that they have their conversations.”
“It’s just something to have on my resume [for] when I go back into reality. Someday I might have to put down a basketball and have a regular 9-to-5 like everybody else.”
“They would all say, ‘You’re not like we thought you would
be. You’re not as smart as we thought that you would be.’” (Referring to fellow students from the
“I used my basketball experience working with different egos, to get everybody to work together.” (When describing how his job experience contributed to success in his MBA program.)
“I made a 1,600 minus 800 minus 200 on the SAT, so I’m very intelligent when I speak.”
“If they would have had this Internet stuff when I was coming up, I would have been in Harvard by now.”
“It took three years.
When I was playing for the Lakers, I went to the classroom. When I went
to
“Tell him Shaq doesn’t respond to juvenile delinquents without a college degree. Tell him to get his degree, and we can talk. In the meantime, he should call me Dr. Shaq because I’m working on my PhD.” (Referring to 17-year-old rookie Andrew Bynum, who compared himself to Shaq…except that he can make free throws.)
“He said something about all the time we were criticized and maligned for not being mature enough to fight through adversity, using all these big words I never use.”
“I even told some reporter, ‘It can’t get no worser.’”
“I read a book a long time ago; it was called The One Minute Manager. It says that when you have people working for you, and they do something wrong, get on them for one minute, and then get back out.”
“Nietzsche was a difficult book to read. Nietzsche was so unique, they thought he was crazy. I guess Phil thinks I’m very unique to a point where I may be crazy.” (Referring to Phil Jackson making him read Nietzsche’s Ecce Homo.)
“Nietzsche was so intelligent and advanced. And that’s how I am. I’m the black, basketball-playing Nietzsche.”
SHAQ QUOTING EINSTEIN:
I’m big on teammates. I’m big on thinking. I’m big on quotes. I get a lot of ideas from them. Once I read about this dude who interviewed Albert Einstein. At the end of the interview, he said, “OK, I want to send you what I’m writing. What’s the address of your laboratory”?
Einstein said, “I don’t know.”
The guy said, “What do you mean you don’t know? You’re a genius.”
Einstein said, “Things you can get access to, you should never memorize.”
When asked, in 2002, if he thinks there has ever been a duo
as powerful as he and
“I can’t answer that question. I didn’t have a TV growing up, and I don’t know how to read.”
“They are that same group, but I’ve got my own rivalristic problems. Is that a word, rivalristic? I’ve got my own rivalristic problems in the Eastern Conference.” (Referring to the Sacramento Kings, a former rival in the Western Conference.)
“If I keep playing, my name will be inscripted in the NBA bible for many years to come. That’s what it’s all about. That’s so kids 20 or 30 years down the line from now go, `Man, O’Neal had 90,000 points. He played until he was 60. And he was still asking for the maximum at 60.’” -- O’Neal, in May, when talking about his desire for a contract extension.
“He’s a little bit younger, he got a lot of proving to do, but he’s just as lethal. It’s my job to make him lethaler. It’s my job to make him the lethalest, if that’s a word...” (On Dwyane Wade.)
“He awokened a sleeping giant. I know that’s not a word.” (Referring to Malik Allen provoking him.)
Here, as a public service, is a pocket Shaq-tionary to help:
TWIsM. It’s tattooed on his arm, just as it is on many in O’Neal’s personal crew. It stands for, “The World Is Mine.” O’Neal got the idea after watching the movie Scarface. Tony Montana, played by Al Pacino, had a globe of the world with the message, “The world is ours.”
Flop-ternity. The “flopping fraternity” of players, he says, who fall down when playing defense against him in hopes of getting an offensive foul. Members include Jason Collins, Vlade Divac and Dennis Rodman.
LSU. His college stands for “
Big. Used frequently in nicknames such as: “The Big Aristotle,” which is what he called himself in 2000 while quoting the philosopher (“Excellence is not a singular act, but a habit”); “The Big Deporter,” which he used after knocking several foreign centers out of the playoffs. Also, “The Big IPO,” “Big Daddy,” “The Big Stock Exchange,” “Big Havliceck” (after several made free throws) and, “Big Felon” (after a crucial steal in a game).
Lethalest. What he has called himself. As in, “I’m the lethalest player out there. Is that a word?”
Shaqfari. What he calls hunting
trips taken to game preserves in
Elliuqhas Laeno. His name spelled backwards, it’s his evil twin who is “the person I am not allowed to be because of my status,” he once told New Yorker magazine. “He’s dead, though. I killed him off.”
I.D.G.A.F. This was the